Category:
Others
Region:
Uganda
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SEX TALK: ANOTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT IT...
Date: 26-Aug-2010
Author: Carolyne Nakazibwe
There are so many romantic thoughts that come to mind when one thinks about the sex in their marriage. But do these ever occur to you?
Sleeping pill to him
Most wives wish their husbands could give more time to cuddling after making love. Well, he just has to sleep. He can't help that. According to research, the buildup to his ejaculation involves a lot of muscular tension and once the wave has subsided, sleep-inducing hormones are released. Just let him be.
Painkiller
It is interesting how many wives use pain - especially headaches - to keep sex at bay, instead of using some good loving to keep the pain at bay. Doctors say if you have a healthy sex life going in your marriage, headaches, cramps, stress, depression, heart disease, etc will not be your portion.
Of course by a healthy or good sex life here, they mean lovemaking that regularly comes with an orgasm, and not just the tiring workouts many marriages are made of.
See, the hormone oxytocin which also helps the uterus to contract during childbirth, increases five times its normal level during orgasm, according to a recent Times article. So, keep the fitness workout for the gym and bring technique and sensuality to bed for that healing power of sex.
The peace offering
When the marriage is facing some pretty huge rocks, usually the first aspect to suffer is the sex. And when the sex gets back on the road, it is usually with good signs for the marriage too.
Normally, husbands have issues with the words 'I am sorry' and it is easier for him to simply show it in the form of make-up sex. Don't be grumpy about that approach with: "he sees me as just a sex object and has no good sense to even apologise first." Well, unfortunately, many husbands' apologies do not come better than this. Take it or leave it; in the meantime, continue praying for some good manners.
Lifeline for your marriage
The more you have sex, the more you will want it. Or so say the sex therapists. And the more you want sex, the more you will go out of your way to plan for it and make it better. The end result, a marriage that suffers no sexual hiccups.
The next time you put in place a sex ban, think of this: the less sex you have, the less you need it and the less creative and seductive you will find yourself. End result is a marriage headed for the rocks.
I love you
It beats me why men are such poor communicators. It is the sole reason why during courtship men do not know how else to illustrate how much in love they are, without going the sex direction. In fact on their own, they have legitimised premarital sex, because in many men's minds, you cannot say I love you without shedding some clothes first.
The pressure is on for our girls, because you simply cannot tell a guy in this era that you love him without "proving it". What hogwash. But good luck on trying to change the perception out there...
And finally, food for thought: sex is supposed to get better with age. That is what the experts say - a woman's libido peaks somewhere after 35 years and a man's also flourishes for many years before Viagra issues set in.
The question then is, why does sex in many marriages suck after the 10th anniversary or thereabout? Could married people be taking some things for granted and allowing monotony to creep in?
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